Faith

I originally wrote this blog post for iBelieve.com, where it was published a few weeks ago. View the post on iBelieve here.

The popular girls snickered as I walked by their table in the cafeteria. I could hear whispers of words like “brace face,” “twig” and “smarty pants,” but I just held on to my tray of lukewarm Papa John’s pizza and chocolate milk and kept moving.

Back in junior high, I was a thin, book nerd and band geek with glasses, braces and what I like to call frizzly hair (both curly and frizzy). I was also on the swim, track and cross-country teams, but people seemed to pay less attention to the fact that I was little and smart.

Junior high is hard for a lot of people, but by the grace of God, the words, thoughts and opinions of others didn’t faze me. I had confidence – not just in myself but in the things I was passionate about. I knew I was loved by my parents, family members and most importantly, Jesus. That was all that mattered.

I don’t know when, where, why or how it happened, but somewhere between my junior high and high school years, that strong, simple confidence began to fade away. The world as I knew it grew bigger. The voices of my peers became louder. And competition felt more intense.

Without a mature enough faith to stand on, I started to doubt what I had always thought about myself. What if what other people say about me is really true? I wondered. What if all I am is a skinny, dorky, not-that-pretty girl? And … what if that’s all I’ll ever be?

True Confidence is Found in Christ

Maybe you can relate to these kinds of doubts and lack of self-assurance. Somewhere along the way, you stopped relying on what Jesus said about you and started looking to what the world said. Somewhere along the way, you stopped seeing yourself as a beloved daughter of the King and started seeing yourself as a woman that’s too opinionated. Too loud. Too fat. Too skinny. Too pale. Too smart. Too different. Too silly. Too _____ (you fill in the blank).

The truth is we aren’t born with confidence. If you really think about it, we pretty much come into this world unsure of anything. Nothing is definite; nothing is guaranteed. Confidence is uncertain. Until we encounter the love of Jesus, that is.

As a child I had encountered the love of Jesus and that perfect love empowered me to be strong and confident. I knew what it meant to be safe in His arms. I knew who I was in Him. But like I said before, somewhere along the way I forgot about that encounter. I forgot about the truths that had set me free. And I tried to find that confidence elsewhere.Read More

I was asked to write this post for the Valley Church of West Des Moines women’s blog. You can find the original post here, but I’m also posting it here on the blog today (scroll for the full story).

Growing up, I was the kid who couldn’t stop writing. Most 10-year-olds dream about becoming a lawyer, doctor, nurse, firefighter, teacher, etc., but me? All I wanted to do was tell stories. When I wasn’t outside playing with my sister, I spent most of my time reading books, watching movies and writing my own stories. I loved everything about the communication process and enjoyed being able to convey a message through my words.

By the time my senior year of high school rolled around, I knew exactly where I wanted to go to school and what I wanted to major in. Without hesitation I enrolled at Ball State University to study magazine journalism with the intention of one day becoming the editor-in-chief of a magazine. This was my dream and my plan for my life, and so, I devoted my college years to preparing myself for a career in the magazine industry. As a freshman I became a contributor for the campus magazine and spent the rest of my college career working my way up the editorial ladder. Eventually my hard work paid off and after two internships and countless hours working for the campus magazine, I was chosen to be editor-in-chief.

Simultaneously during this time, I started this blog. I originally created the blog because I wanted to have a place outside of my journalism writing where I could share personal stories, life lessons and faith encouragement. After keeping the blog up for a year, my now husband and I had a conversation about the purpose of the blog over dinner one night.

He took a few bites of the Bruschetta Chicken Pasta I’d made and looked up at me and smiled. “You know what, Lauren, you’re a really good cook,” he said. “I mean, seriously — the recipes you come up with … they are so creative and inspiring! You should really start sharing these on your blog. Actually … you know what you could do? You could make the site about both food and faith inspiration and see where that takes you.”

At the time food blogging was becoming increasingly popular and I felt good about my husband’s suggestion, so that’s exactly what I did. Making the change was easy because I didn’t have many readers, and I also didn’t post very often because I was too busy studying or working at the magazine.

Little did I know the plans God had for the future of my blog and my writing career were about to take a major turn.

Life changed after graduation. Suddenly all the dreams I once had for myself came face-to-face with reality (paying bills, saving for a wedding, saving for a house) and I had a very hard decision to make in regards to my career. I had two options: work a part-time paid internship at the metro publication of my dreams, Mpls.St.Paul Magazine, or work a steady full-time job as a communication specialist for a school district.

The plans I had for my life told me take the paid internship, but there was no guarantee that it would lead to a full-time position and for some reason, no matter how much I wanted to feel good about the decision, when I prayed I didn’t have a peace about it.

But God, I thought I was supposed to be the editor-in-chief of a magazine? That’s all I’ve ever wanted. What am I supposed to do now? I prayed.

He answered clear as day: “My dearest Lauren, I have blessed you with the gift of writing. I know you wanted a magazine career but I’m asking you to lay that at my feet and be faithful with the opportunities I’ve already placed in front of you.”

You mean like my blog?

“Yes! And the book you started writing, too. I know you see these things as a hobby, but I want you to use them to bring glory and honor to my name and to bless others.”

It was a bold calling from the Lord — to lay my dreams, plans and desires at His feet in exchange for an unknown, undefined career path. Part of me felt sad when I thought about giving up the magazine dream. I’d spent the last four years of my life devoted to becoming the best writer and editor I could be, and I grieved the thought of not pursuing that career path, no matter how risky it seemed.

That same day, “Shepherd” by Bethel Music came on my Pandora station. As I listened to the lyrics, I knew God was using the song to speak to me and urge me to trust Him:Read More