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A few weeks ago I was rewatching the second episode of A.D. The Bible Continues, which aired on NBC last year, and in it was a scene that struck me to my core. It’s the scene before the disciples see Jesus for the first time, when Peter is talking about the shame and guilt he feels for denying Him and not being with Him at the cross on Calvary.

Tears formed in Peter’s eyes as he mourned over the weight of his sins. As I watched the actors on TV, I could feel Peter’s angst and regret in my own heart. It’s a pain I’ve felt many times before — when I feel like I’ve fallen short of who God has called me to be. The more I mess up the more I feel like I’ll never measure up. The more I question if I’m worthy of love. The more I wonder if I’ll ever be good enough. I’m sure Peter was probably feeling some of these emotions too.

But it was in this moment more than 2,000 years ago, that something beautiful happened. After being crucified on the cross, Jesus appeared — not to condemn or criticize Peter, but to offer him peace.

“Peace be with you,” Jesus says to Peter (Luke 24:36).

Notice Jesus didn’t say, “Dude. What’s your problem? Why did you have to go and deny me like that? Now look what happened.” There’s no blame or anger here. Just mercy and love.

When I reflect on this passage of the Bible, I am overwhelmed by the beautiful picture that it paints of God’s grace. I mean, seriously, think about it: If someone denied you — not once, not twice, but three times — would you die for them, and then wish peace upon them?

This is what Christ did for Peter and it’s what He continues to do for us each and every day. Jesus’ death and resurrection is the ultimate act of grace.

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As an adult I’d rather get a cavity filled than go to Chuck E. Cheese’s, but as a kid I enjoyed running around the ball pit, eating ridiculous amounts of pizza and celebrating birthdays with friends. Sure, I could have done without the singing stuffed animals, but the unlimited pizza, cake and soda made up for it.

I remember walking to the soda machine to refill my cup during a friend’s party while we waited for her mom to cut the cake. A few of the girls in our group followed me, ready to give their bloodstream another hit of sugar, too.

“Let’s make suicide sodas!” someone suggested.

“What are you talking about?” I asked, looking back at her like she was crazy.

“You know, when you fill your cup with a little bit of each of the drinks in the machine,” she explained.

All peer pressure aside, the idea of suicide soda intrigued me, so I decided to give it try. From my first sip I knew suicide soda was going to be the drink of choice for the rest of our elementary school parties. After all, why have one soda when you can have them all? Excess is best, right?

For much of my life, I filled my cup with as much as it could possibly hold. Like the little girl standing in line at Chuck E. Cheese’s, I craved control over the things that made up my life’s unique flavor. I held my cup tightly to make sure that whatever I wanted got in and whatever I didn’t want stayed out. And I said yes to whatever came my way because if I said yes, that meant more control over something.

But things have a way of catching up to us, and after trying to add and control so many things, my cup became so full that it slipped right out of my hands. Suddenly I lost control. All I could do was watch as the soda spilled all over me, drenching me in an unrecognizable, foul tang.

Everything was out of my hands.

After years of filling my cup with more, more, more and trying to control the matters of my life, I had to learn how to stop and let go.

Soda is addicting. Science has proven this. The sugar, the caffeine buzz, the carbonation – it tastes and feels so good. Who wouldn’t love it? The problem with addictions, however, is that if left unchecked, they can eventually kill you.

While I’ve never been addicted to soda, I used to be addicted to control. The satisfaction of having a say over how something turned out was sweeter to me than a Coca Cola sugar buzz. Or at least, that was until God stepped in.

By His grace, God showed me that if I wanted to find true satisfaction I had to let go of my cup – let the sticky soda fall on the floor – so that I could be refilled with something better. His Holy Living Water (John 4:14).

I’m convinced that learning to let go and let God have His way in our lives is the best thing we can do for ourselves.

If we believe, as it says in Colossians 1:17, that God “is before all things, and in Him all things hold together,” then we can trust and know that He’s got everything under control. We don’t have to hold our cups tightly and fill them with a toxic sludge that’s fueled by our own fears or desires. Instead, we can hand our cup over to the one who formed us and can fill us with His tender love, grace and mercy.

Let go and let God. He knows what’s best (Jeremiah 29:11). Here’s five ways to surrender control today and practice letting go and letting God:

1. Stop Striving & Start Abiding

I saw a Christian Instagram account the other day and the description read, “striving to be a Godly woman.” No disrespect or judgment here, but didn’t Jesus come so that we could stop striving? Psalm 46:8 says, “Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth” (NASB). The first step in learning to let go of control is to stop striving. We don’t have to strive to make our life turn out a certain way; we just have to abide in Him (John 15).

2. Confess and Surrender Your Need for Control

If you’re like me and you crave control, the remedy for change is prayer. Go to God and be honest — tell Him how you feel. Say, “God I confess I like being in control. It makes me feel safe and secure. It makes me feel like I have a purpose. But I know that being a control freak isn’t going to get me anywhere. Help me surrender control to you each and every day. Help me trust in you deeply, so that I will not fear surrendering that control. Help me remember that you hold it all.”

If you’re having trouble surrendering through prayer alone, try taking out a piece of paper and write down the things you are holding so tightly to. One by one, lay the pieces of paper on the floor and as you’re doing so, imagine yourself literally laying them down at the feet of the Father. 

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Who likes conflict? My guess is none of you reading this are raising your hands right now. I’m not raising mine either.

I believe most people are inherently kind (to an extent, at least). We all want to make people happy. We try our best not to upset anyone. And yet, while there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be nice to people, when we look at scripture we see that we are not called to simply be nice. We are called to love, serve and engage in conflict.

It’s one thing to be nice — it’s another thing to be like Jesus.

I’m not a huge people pleaser but I take delight in making people feel good and welcome. Sometimes that means doing whatever I can not to offend them, or just avoiding them altogether so things don’t become uncomfortable.

I am quick to shy away from conflict because I just want everyone to be happy. But running away from conflict isn’t being the hands of feet and Jesus. And tiptoeing around the people we cross paths with isn’t loving and serving them with everything that we have.

Jesus didn’t run away from conflict. Even if it meant potentially offending someone, His courage to speak up and speak the truth in love saved entire generations of people.

In Mark 2 1:1-12 we see Jesus come into conflict with a few teachers of the law in Capernaum.

Verse 2 tells us that when Jesus again entered the village, “people gathered in such large numbers that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them.”

Verses 3-12 go on to say: Some men came, bringing to him a paralyzed man, carried by four of them. Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus by digging through it and then lowered the mat the man was lying on. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralyzed man, ‘Son, your sins are forgiven.’ Now some teachers of the law were sitting there, thinking to themselves, “Why does this fellow talk like that? He’s blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but God alone?” 

Immediately Jesus knew in his spirit that this was what they were thinking in their hearts, and he said to them, ‘Why are you thinking these things? Which is easier: to say to this paralyzed man, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up, take your mat and walk’? But I want you to know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins.’ So he said to the man, ‘I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.’ He got up, took his mat and walked out in full view of them all. This amazed everyone and they praised God, saying, ‘We have never seen anything like this!’”

Can you imagine how uncomfortable it must have been for Jesus to hear the teachers of the law saying these kinds of insults? Let’s be real: If I were Jesus in that moment, I probably would have just ignored them and internalized my thoughts. I might have even tried to find an escape route somewhere.

But Jesus doesn’t run away. Even though people were talking bad about Him, He showed compassion on them by revealing the truth about who He was and what He came to do.Read More